I've decided to make a list of embarrassing things that have happened to me over the years. This is so that I will still remain a humble girl after I become the galaxy's most famous blogger and Reese Witherspoon is playing me in a movie.
Please feel free to judge me and/or laugh hysterically.
*When I bought the bed we now sleep on, the furniture store only had a mattress on the floor model instead of a mattress and box spring. I did not know this and purchased said bed. When we got it home and put both the mattress and box spring on the bed I discovered that at my towering height of 5'3" I had to jump to get on my new bed. I now have to keep a step-stool under my nightstand to use each night when I have to hoist myself onto the bed. Ridiculous.
*In junior high when anything and everything can be mortifying, I was with a group of friends at a pizza place and somebody said something hilarious. I laughed. And a booger decided to make its escape at the same time. Humiliation ensued.
*I have fallen off wedge shoes twice in front of a group of people when the strap broke. Even after two times, I have yet to find a way to do this gracefully.
*I was actually afraid of Y2K. I didn't build a bunker or stockpile food but I completely bought into the hype and worried what would happen to my bank account.
*I am not really familiar with marijuana at all and the first time I smelled it I thought someone was cooking chicken.
*I like Grease 2 better than Grease 1. I know, the shame.
*I once sent my child to gaze in wonder at a large snail on our back porch. It turned out to be a poop ball from the dog. I am expecting my Mother of the Year award in the mail any day now.
*Public lactation leakage. Enough said.
* There exists photo documentation of my personal style in the early 1990's. Let's just say, I loved hot rollers, had yet to meet Mr. Tweezers and wasn't afraid to roll my t-shirt sleeves.
*I probably use dry shampoo more than is advisable. Just don't ever tell me that you can tell.
There you have it. A list of just some of the embarrassing things that have happened to me. And you thought being a Cheap Mama was all glitz and glamour.
