Driving my children to the grocery store the other day I discovered that I am that mom. That mom I swore I would never be. That mom that I secretly judged from my lofty throne of I-haven't-had-children-yet. There are so many things I do as I mom that I swore I would never do. Like letting my son watch 72 episodes of Phineas & Ferb. In a row. Nursing my infant to sleep, co-sleeping, letting them eat grocery store food as I shop thereby forcing the cashier to ring up a nasty, used cracker wrapper, calling the pretzel from Target "lunch." The list could go on and on.
As I was watching another riveting episode of Toddlers & Tiaras the other night I saw a mom give her 6 year old daughter a can of Red Bull to put a little pep in her step. At first I thought, "What a horrible mother! That child doesn't need that much caffeine!" But really, who am I to judge? Glitz pageants are probably really stressful. I mean, if little Nee Nee wants to pull for a higher crown she's got to flash that million dollar flipper smile and work it for the judges. That $200 prize and rhinestone tiara isn't going to win itself.
As I drove Superman and Sidekick to Wal-Mart for our weekly trip, I realized that I could probably feed and clothe my children with what was in my car for at least a day or two. Lying on seats and floorboards were snack cups, a backpack full of who-knows-what, half full sippy cups (not yet cheese - I think they lacked another 24 hours), a pair of kid Crocs, papers from church, a full size bag of animal crackers, a pair of socks and at least a half dozen toys.
This kind of thing really does bother me because I'm a pretty neat person. I like order and cleanliness but looking at my car one would think otherwise. The accumulation of junk in my car happens slowly, which is my weak attempt to explain the nastiness. A toy for entertainment here, a snack for the ride there and all of a sudden my car is its own science experiment. I've decided that I have two choices: I can either fight it or let it ride. I have chosen the latter. As long as I don't land on an episode of Hoarders: The Car Edition I figure I'm doing alright.
Gotta go. It's time for Toddlers & Tiaras.
Are you that mom?
