I am pretty strict when it comes to what my kids watch on television. My stepson who is almost 11 years old, bless his heart, is always having to choose between watching Bubble Guppies or Little Einsteins with Superman instead of his beloved shows with pre-pubescent children who make more in one episode than most adults do all year.
However as Superman neared his fifth birthday I decided he was a big enough boy to watch a couple of shows on Disney XD. Little did I know what I had just unleashed upon all of us.
I failed to taken into consideration that this move to big boy shows also came with commercials. Lots and lots of commercials. The evil geniuses who write these commercials have taken a page from Dora the Explorer. You know how when Dora is on an adventure they say the same thing a million times like
BRIDGE ---- LAKE ---- LIBRARY!!!
Say it again!
BRIDGE ---- LAKE ---- LIBRARY!!!
Where are they going?
BRIDGE ---- LAKE ---- LIBRARY!!!
until you want to stab yourself in the eyeball with a pencil?
Well, these commercials are just like that only worse. Instead of simply repeating the same thing over and over they are also creating tiny kid robots who can repeat the same thing ad nauseum to their parent
until the parent completely caves and buys the dang thing just to shut the kid up.
Or maybe that's just me.
I actually held out for several months before folding like a cheap suit and buying this from Wal-Mart in the "As Seen On TV" aisle. That counts for something, right? During those months I had to endure multiple sales pitches from Superman where he recounted each of the fantastic features of the Gyro Bowl.
It's dishwasher safe Mom!
It comes with a Stayin' Fresh Lid Mom!
You can take food in the car and it never spills Mom!
After hearing this multiple times a day I'm actually proud I lasted as long as I did. He knew he couldn't order one himself because, as he told me, "you have to be 18 or older to order."
After Superman had his Precious in hand I continued with my usual shopping list. As I was trying to decide which dishwashing liquid to buy he shrieked from behind me, "But wait! We can get a second one FOR FREE!"
Later as we were driving home he couldn't contain his joy and decided to open the package immediately. After checking out his purchase he exclaimed with delight, "I can't believe it came with the Stayin' Fresh Lid!"
I want my kid back, Disney XD people. But I'll settle for some Pajama Jeans to review.
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