Sidekick Is 1 and I Cried

Today my daughter turned 1.  A first birthday should be a time of joy and celebration.  However, last night as I was putting her to bed on the eve of her birthday, tears began to spontaneously roll down my cheeks.  It took me by complete surprise that I was so emotional and full of sadness about a milestone that should have been something to celebrate.

After I sang "You Are My Sunshine" through the tears and laid her in her crib, I closed her bedroom door still crying.  I decided a shower would be good for me to clear my thoughts and help dry up the tears.  Instead of slowing down, though, my tears turned into the full-on-ugly-snotting cry while I struggled to grasp what exactly had turned me into a raving lunatic.

As I cried and prayed, prayed and cried it finally hit me.  Sidekick will probably be my last baby but I wasn't done having babies.  Getting pregnant the first time was a piece of cake but getting pregnant with Sidekick took an act of congress and a fertility specialist who had to pull out the big guns.  The reality is that although I want more kids, it probably won't happen.

Although I know in my head that I am blessed beyond belief with two beautiful children, I always thought that I would have more than two kids.  I imagined driving a car full of car seats, having more kids than bedrooms and serving dinner to a packed kitchen table.  I wasn't done having babies.  No one asked me if I was done with swaddled newborns, baby wearing, onesies, bibs or sippy cups.  Just as I was getting the hang of this new mother thing, the curtain has been dropped mid-performance.

I know that right around the corner are new experiences and new joys with each coming stage but it doesn't change the fact that I'm going to miss my babies.  I'm going to miss a being so small it could fit in a bread box.  I'm going to miss the smell of baby wash on their heads.  I'm going to miss the baby babble and dimpled elbows.

I learned in counseling that emotions are meant to be experienced fully so that one can move on.  So I'm not going to suppress these emotions and try and convince myself that I should be happy when I'm really a little sad.  I am going to let myself mourn the loss of babyhood.  And then I will pray for the wisdom and grace to look to the future with eager anticipation.  Anticipation of tea parties with a toddler, late night talks with an adolescent girl and family vacations with kids old enough to ride the really scary roller coasters.

I will thank God for the short time I had with my babies and pray for a future as sweet and wonderful as the past.

I have poured my heart out in this post.  To read more heart-felt posts, visit Shell at Things I Can't Say.

How I Gave Up The Cleaning Lady

When I introduced my Stay At Home Plan to Georgia Boy, one of the first expenses I said we could cut was the cleaning lady.  I promised that I would do ALL of the cleaning and keep up with it according to a timely schedule.  Pardon me while I roll around on the floor laughing at this memory.

Thanks.

After several months of using the new baby as an excuse, followed by the holidays as another excuse, I finally decided it was time to get this cleaning thing down.  I was tired of feeling guilty every time I walked by the toothpaste globs in the sink or noticed the boy writing his ABCs in the dust on the end tables.

Thus I devised a plan.  Cue the evil villain music here.

I made a list of items that needed to be done weekly, monthly, and whenever-the-heck-I-find-the-time-so-probably-never items.  I took into consideration that I would be the only person working on this cleaning list since my children are too small to help.  But believe you me, they will have broom in hand as soon as I think they are up to the task.  A great bonus is that Sidekick is still army crawling instead of walking so she is my swiffer for the hardwood floors.  Score!

I also made a list of quick cleaning jobs that I could do in the kitchen each night while cleaning up after dinner.   This would be to keep that area of the house from becoming an unholy mess as it tends to become since there are several people eating there every day three times a day.

Thus was born my evil cleaning plan.

Cleaning Schedule: 
Monday - Vacuum carpet floors
Tuesday - Dust  (This is the day I hate most, in case you were wondering)
Wednesday - Toilets, empty trash cans & *Monthly Job
Thursday - Bathroom sinks & Counters
Friday - Sweep wood floors
Saturday - Mirrors & Glass table tops
Sunday - REST!  It's in the Bible.  Seriously, you can look it up.

*Monthly Jobs are Tubs/Showers, Windows, Mopping.  These happen sometimes on schedule and sometimes not.  Dangit Jim, I'm a mother not a miracle worker.

Kitchen schedule:
Monday - Countertops
Tuesday - Wipe down cabinets
Wednesday - Cooktop/Sink
Thursday - Oven
Friday - Stainless Steel appliances
Saturday - Microwave
Sunday - REST!  See above.

After implementing this schedule I can honestly say that I've been able to keep up with the cleaning and feel good about it.  I've always felt that there is a certain pride in ownership in cleaning one's own house but I never felt like I could crack the code on how to do it successfully.  Having a schedule has helped tremendously.

Now I realize that for some people the money spent on a cleaning lady is worth every penny to them and I'm not going to argue that point.  To each his own!  When I was a working mommy I too had a cleaning lady and it was worth it to me to be able to spend those few precious hours with my kids instead of shoooing them away so I could clean the house.  But, alas, when we became a one income family I knew my days of Ms. Charlotte's cleaning services were over and it was time for me to do it on my own.  Believe me, there are days when I miss Ms. Charlotte but I've discovered that I'm pretty darn good at this myself.

Who knew?

When Scrimping Becomes Too Much

What do we do when scrimping and saving becomes too much?

Recently I had a very heart-felt discussion with a woman who is roughly twenty years older than me and someone I admire.  The subject was finances.  She shared with me that due to circumstances beyond their control, she and her husband were in debt.  These are two people who have been financially responsible their entire marriage but now find themselves in their current situation.  This dear woman told me that when they found themselves in debt, they had to make a decision.  Did they scrimp and save taking every fun thing from their lives to pay off the debt quicker?  Or did they leave themselves a few sanity-saving things like school tuition and modest family vacations which meant they would be in debt a little longer but would have spent that time enjoying each other more?  She said that the decision, though incorrect in the eyes of others, was to still do some of the things that gave them joy as a family and to chip away at their debt as best they could year by year.

As I drove home after our conversation I began to think about what my reaction might be if I were faced with a similar situation.  As of this moment we are able to manage our finances and I often mentally pat myself on the back at all that I do to stretch a dollar.  But after talking to this woman, I realized that I am one catastrophic event away from being left under piles of debt by a situation over which I had no control.

This led me to think if it happened to me, what would I do?  Would I call a family meeting where I announced there would be NO MORE family vacations, camps, restaurant meals, lattes or retail clothing purchased in our house?  Would I whittle the grocery list down to bread, bologna and milk?  Would I tell my family that every ounce of energy expended every day would be for the sole purpose of paying off the debt?  At what point would it all be too much?

As One Cheap Mama, I know the value of living frugally and I am constantly striving for ways to do it better.  But after the conversation with my friend, I'm not so sure that turning frugality into an obsession at the cost of daily joy is the best way I can spend my limited days on this earth.  As a Christian, I believe  every word in the Bible and the Bible promises that my life will be filled with struggles.  I have come to understand that finances will always be a part of that struggle.

I, of course, fantasize about how easy life would be if only I would win the lottery or discover that some dear distant great aunt had left me a vast fortune.  But the reality is that I will most likely live out the rest of my days working within the confines of a budget, struggling to be financially responsible with what God has given me.  And I don't think that's a bad thing.  I think there's a lot to be said for someone who has worked hard, lived responsibly and therefore has an honest appreciation of the blessing in their life.

Yet knowing all of this, I still wonder how I will react if I am ever placed in a similar situation to my friend.  I'm not sure the answer is cut and dry and I'm sure the answer is different for each person and family.  But the conversation has got me thinking nonetheless.  I want to make sure that my desire to live frugally doesn't overpower my desire to find joy in each day.  And if that joy comes in the form of an overpriced cup of coffee where I got to spend an hour filling my soul with the conversation of a dear friend, then maybe it was worth it.

I want to ensure that as I stretch each dollar as far as it will go, I also stretch each day enjoying as much of it as possible.

The Ultimate Home Project

I've been thinking a lot lately about legacy and what is most important in life.  I'm not sure what led me to ponder such deep thoughts.  Maybe as parents we all wonder at times if the way in which we spend our time day in and day out is the best use of those precious minutes.  Whatever the reason, these thoughts have been swirling around in my mind for the last few weeks.  My visit to my parents' house this week has allowed me the time to reflect on the subject of legacy.

Hanging in the hallway of my parents' house is the gift that I gave to my parents and my in-laws-to-be on the eve of my wedding.  I had wanted to give our parents something meaningful that would mark this momentous occasion in each of our families and so at our rehearsal dinner I gave them a framed family tree of sorts that listed their marriage, the marriages of their children, parents and grandparents.

As I stood looking at it this week, my eye was drawn to the very top, to the names and marriage dates of my great-grandparents.  I thought about how much, or rather how little, I actually knew about them.  I knew their names and their wedding dates (thanks to some investigative work by family members) but other than some vague holiday memories as a small child, I really didn't know who these people were as individuals.

I certainly didn't know or care what kind of sofa they had or if their throw pillows coordinated perfectly with their drapes.  In fact I thought it silly that they would care about such mundane things.  Especially, I thought, if they could see and appreciate what their lives had led to - the continuing of generations of loving, beautiful individuals who were carrying on the family legacy.

These thoughts have led me to consider carefully what I deem important in my own life.  I spend so much time and energy on things that seem important in the moment, but I often wonder...

Will my children care if the beloved living room sofa is beginning to show signs of wear?  Or will they only care that our home was a safe haven for them, a place to find rest in a sometimes difficult world?  

Will my grandchildren care that I never could figure out the right furniture placement in the office?  Or will they only care that they inherited their grandfather's strong work ethic because he instilled the same in his sons?

Will my great-granddaughters care that I never could seem to finish all of my house projects, or will they  only know they inherited an eye for beauty and a passion in creating a loving home environment from their own mothers?

Most of all, will they know God and serve Him with their lives?  Will they show His lovingkindness to those around Him?  Will they love God and love people?  

If this is my ultimate goal for the generations to come after me, then how I spend my time should be a reflection of this goal.  

I do believe that God has created me with purpose and that my passion for creating a lovely home is part of that design.  But I'm smart enough to acknowledge that my passion for creating outward beauty in my home should never surpass my passion for creating inward beauty in the lives of my children.  This is what matters.  This is what is of utmost importance.

The same passion and excitement I feel in creating the next beautiful decoration for my home should pale in comparison to the excitement I feel at a new day of helping to create who my children will be.  I think sometimes I get it confused and switch around the priorities.  I want to be different, though.  I want to live my life in such a way that, even if someday my great-grandchildren only know my name and marriage date, they will be God-serving individuals because of what I chose to do today.

It is for this reason that I have had to accept the fact that my idea of perfection may never come to fruition.  I will never post as many blog entries as I would like, finish as many home projects as are on the to-do list, or ever feel like we have enough money to do everything on my wish list.  But I will strive to live each day with the goal of laying my head on my pillow at night knowing that I gave my all that day to the things of importance.  I gave to the things that will last long after I am gone from this earth.  

Paint and Furniture Cheap Mama Style - French Antique Look

Four years ago when we moved into the house we now live in, my in-laws sent a truck of hand-me-down furniture from Georgia.  There were pieces in there handed down from both of Georgia Boy's grandmothers and they were all full of memories.  Most were beautiful but a few had seen better days.  Since we were trying to fill a brand new house, we weren't about to turn down free furniture!   But I knew that it was only a matter of time before I would be painting furniture.

Fast forward to four short years later (humor intended) and I finally got around to painting one of the side tables.  This was a beautiful table with great details but it had been stained an ordinary color and the top was scratched from years of use.  I wanted to use it in the sitting room of my master bedroom which is decorated in blues so I decided to go with the antique french country blue look.  If you have ever wondered how to paint furniture or how to do an antique french paint job, this is how I did it.

Here is the table BEFORE!

I first primed the table using ordinary oil-based primer.  If you've never used oil-based paints before, don't be intimidated.  You can use all of your regular paint supplies but you'll need mineral spirits or another paint thinner for cleaning your brushes.  The paint will stick on your skin like glue so it's best to use latex gloves while painting.  Oil-based primers are used when you want to paint something that already has a stain or finish.  Latex paint won't adhere to a stain and instead of stripping, you can prime with an oil-based primer which seals and primes and dries matte.

This is after one coat of primer.  It will be streaky but as long as it's completely covered, you'll be able to begin the coats of latex paint.

After I primed it I painted one coat of Sherwin Williams Georgian Revival Blue.  After that I dry-brushed Sherwin Williams Silvermist.  I did enough to hit a little bit all over the surface of the top and legs but not so much that I couldn't see some of the Georgian Revival Blue peeking through.

 Dry-brushing is a technique that simply means getting enough paint to barely wet the tips of the bristles of the paint brush and then applying it with a light hand.  It's better to do a little bit at a time and build to the look you want.  You can always add more - but you can't take it off!

Basecoat of Georgian Revival Blue.  It's bright!

This is after I dry-brushed with the Silvermist.  At first I did a light coat but after looking at it for a while, I decided to go heavier with the Silvermist.  You can still seek the blue peeking out.

The final step was the glazing coat.  This is what takes a painted piece that looks like it just received a paint job by a kindergarten student and turns it into a piece of furniture with an antique look.

I made my glaze by mixing 3 parts Sherwin Williams Faux Impressions Glaze (Latex Finish Clear) with 1 part Sherwin Williams Umber paint.  The glaze is clear and can be tinted to whatever finish you would like to have.  I used the dark umber glaze on this table and a couple of other pieces but for my next project, I am going to be doing something a little different.  (Stay tuned!)

To glaze, brush on the glaze with a paint brush and then wipe off with a clean cloth.  I used my husband's old undershirts for this.  Even though you are wiping with the cloth, you will quickly see that it creates an aged look even when it is wiped off.

Finished product!

The piece ended up with the exact paint color I wanted but after living with it in the room for a couple of weeks, I think it may look too "fancy."  I'm contemplating hitting the edges and legs with sandpaper for a more distressed look but I haven't completely decided if I want to do that.  So, until then I'm enjoying my "new antique" table!

I got a lot of my inspiration for this table from one of my favorite bloggers, Miss Mustard Seed.  Check out her blog for LOADS of tips on painting, sewing, and making your home beautiful.

Easy Cheap Mama Teacher Appreciation Gifts

I apologize for doing two posts in two days but I had to add this post while it was still Teacher Appreciation Week.

When I started blogging, I was introduced to the wonderful world of printables.  Printables are downloads of all kind of graphic designs, cards, etc. that you can print out and use in a million different ways.  Sometimes these printables are available for purchase at very reasonable prices but there are also a lot of FREE printables available.  When I'm looking for a particular theme, all I have to do is google my topic with "free" and "printable" and I've always been able to find something great.

I am still blown away that all of these creatives ladies out there in the blogosphere provide these printables for FREE and so I wanted to give a shout-out to a couple of the people that I have used in some recent projects.

For Teacher Appreciation Week, I found Cheri of I Am Momma Hear Me Roar.  She had several great ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week, all of which were available as FREE downloads!  I chose the Thank You For Helping Me Grow printable which I attached to a potted plant for each of Superman's teachers.  I am giving Cheri the shout-out here, but I'm okay with Superman's teachers thinking that I came up with this great idea all on my own!

Superman also recently had Crazy Hat Day at school.  To say he is obsessed with Lego Star Wars would be an understatement so I wanted to find a way to incorporate this into our crazy hat design.  I found Cindy of Skip To My Lou and her FREE Lego Star Wars cupcake topper printables.  I printed them out, put them on pipe cleaners and attached them to a red ball cap I found for about $1 at Hobby Lobby.  The result was one great crazy hat!

Superman wouldn't let me take a picture of him wearing the hat so I made the topiary wear it.

I am now hooked on printables as a great way to do something very creative for any occasion.

Happy printing, Cheap Mamas.

Easy Balloon Shade

When I was pregnant with my first child I didn't want to find out the sex of the baby.  It was my first child and I knew I would be excited whether it was a boy or a girl.  My mother, who is a great seamstress, made custom bedding and a window treatment that was beautifully gender neutral.  My son slept on that bedding until he moved out of his crib.  I loved that bedding and all of the memories it held.

When I became pregnant with my second child, for some reason I decided we should find out the sex and we discovered we were having a girl.  I planned on using the bedding that my mother had made because of the sentimental value but then a friend of mine gave me the bedding that she had used for her twin girls.

It was pink.  It was wide gingham check.  It was gorgeous.  My mother ended up making a quilt that went perfectly with it which meant I then had the best of both worlds - beautiful pink bedding and something handmade by Nana.

The only problem was that I had two windows and the set had only come with two tie-top panels.  I thought about hanging them straight down on either side of each window, pulled to each side with a tie back but then I got a crazy idea to fashion balloon shades out of them.  I thought this would give more of the shabby chic look I was going for in Sidekick's room.

I hung them over the curtain rod like you would drape a bath towel over a towel bar with the ties in front.  I then used ribbon to pull up each side creating the balloon shade look.  I tied the tab ties into bows and adjusted it all until I got the look I wanted.

This meant I was able to outfit 2 windows with half the needed panels which made this Cheap Mama very happy!  I love the look and love the pink for my baby girl.