I've decided to make a list of embarrassing things that have happened to me over the years. This is so that I will still remain a humble girl after I become the galaxy's most famous blogger and Reese Witherspoon is playing me in a movie.
Please feel free to judge me and/or laugh hysterically.
*When I bought the bed we now sleep on, the furniture store only had a mattress on the floor model instead of a mattress and box spring. I did not know this and purchased said bed. When we got it home and put both the mattress and box spring on the bed I discovered that at my towering height of 5'3" I had to jump to get on my new bed. I now have to keep a step-stool under my nightstand to use each night when I have to hoist myself onto the bed. Ridiculous.
*In junior high when anything and everything can be mortifying, I was with a group of friends at a pizza place and somebody said something hilarious. I laughed. And a booger decided to make its escape at the same time. Humiliation ensued.
*I have fallen off wedge shoes twice in front of a group of people when the strap broke. Even after two times, I have yet to find a way to do this gracefully.
*I was actually afraid of Y2K. I didn't build a bunker or stockpile food but I completely bought into the hype and worried what would happen to my bank account.
*I am not really familiar with marijuana at all and the first time I smelled it I thought someone was cooking chicken.
*I like Grease 2 better than Grease 1. I know, the shame.
*I once sent my child to gaze in wonder at a large snail on our back porch. It turned out to be a poop ball from the dog. I am expecting my Mother of the Year award in the mail any day now.
*Public lactation leakage. Enough said.
* There exists photo documentation of my personal style in the early 1990's. Let's just say, I loved hot rollers, had yet to meet Mr. Tweezers and wasn't afraid to roll my t-shirt sleeves.
*I probably use dry shampoo more than is advisable. Just don't ever tell me that you can tell.
There you have it. A list of just some of the embarrassing things that have happened to me. And you thought being a Cheap Mama was all glitz and glamour.
I'm sorry, but Reese Witherspoon is already playing me in a movie ;)
ReplyDeleteI was wearing super cute sandals to Jeff's high school graduation party. It was the first time I met his extended family. His parents have wood floors in their house. My grand entrance into the party was when I slipped and fell down the stairs, right into the living room. It was the single most humiliating moment of my life.
ReplyDeleteNow tell me more about this dry shampoo thing!
I love Grease 2 more than 1 as well! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, Kenna! Dry shampoo is my new best friend. Tresemme and Suave both have dry shampoos. They have a powder in them so they're better for blonde hair. I've also tried Salon Grafix which is powder-less which means it's better for darker hair.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Yes, I want to know more about the dry shampoo as well!
ReplyDeleteUmm, I raise you a booger story with a laugh/choke/vomit story where I laughed which caused me to choke on some food and proceed to vomit it back up... in my plate... in front of the "cool crowd" I was sitting with... I just died again typing this.
ReplyDeleteOh My Gosh. You win, Mommie Couture.
ReplyDeleteI love it! Way too funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my site...I'm your newest follower; this was too funny!
I don't know ... I sneezed snot all over the table during Sunday school in the seventh grade while Dixie Rushing was praying. I think she was the only one who saw the droplets, so I just put my Bible on top of it. Also, I think you almost died in Padre when I shouted up to our condo to bring me some R.C.
ReplyDeleteI don't know ... I sneezed snot all over the table during Sunday school in the seventh grade while Dixie Rushing was praying. I think she was the only one who saw the droplets, so I just put my Bible on top of it. Also, I think you almost died in Padre when I shouted up to our condo to bring me some R.C.
ReplyDeleteI was wearing super cute sandals to Jeff's high school graduation party. It was the first time I met his extended family. His parents have wood floors in their house. My grand entrance into the party was when I slipped and fell down the stairs, right into the living room. It was the single most humiliating moment of my life.
ReplyDeleteNow tell me more about this dry shampoo thing!