Thursday, April 21, 2011

For When I Am a Famous Blogger

I've decided to make a list of embarrassing things that have happened to me over the years.  This is so that I will still remain a humble girl after I become the galaxy's most famous blogger and Reese Witherspoon is playing me in a movie.

Please feel free to judge me and/or laugh hysterically.

*When I bought the bed we now sleep on, the furniture store only had a mattress on the floor model instead of a mattress and box spring.  I did not know this and purchased said bed.  When we got it home and put both the mattress and box spring on the bed I discovered that at my towering height of 5'3" I had to jump to get on my new bed.  I now have to keep a step-stool under my nightstand to use each night when I have to hoist myself onto the bed.  Ridiculous.

*In junior high when anything and everything can be mortifying, I was with a group of friends at a pizza place and somebody said something hilarious.  I laughed.  And a booger decided to make its escape at the same time.  Humiliation ensued.

*I have fallen off wedge shoes twice in front of a group of people when the strap broke.  Even after two times, I have yet to find a way to do this gracefully.

*I was actually afraid of Y2K.  I didn't build a bunker or stockpile food but I completely bought into the hype and worried what would happen to my bank account.

*I am not really familiar with marijuana at all and the first time I smelled it I thought someone was cooking chicken.

*I like Grease 2 better than Grease 1.  I know, the shame.

*I once sent my child to gaze in wonder at a large snail on our back porch.  It turned out to be a poop ball from the dog.  I am expecting my Mother of the Year award in the mail any day now.

*Public lactation leakage.  Enough said.

* There exists photo documentation of my personal style in the early 1990's.  Let's just say,  I loved hot rollers, had yet to meet Mr. Tweezers and wasn't afraid to roll my t-shirt sleeves.

*I probably use dry shampoo more than is advisable.  Just don't ever tell me that you can tell.


There you have it.  A list of just some of the embarrassing things that have happened to me.  And you thought being a Cheap Mama was all glitz and glamour.

11 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, but Reese Witherspoon is already playing me in a movie ;)

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  2. I was wearing super cute sandals to Jeff's high school graduation party. It was the first time I met his extended family. His parents have wood floors in their house. My grand entrance into the party was when I slipped and fell down the stairs, right into the living room. It was the single most humiliating moment of my life.

    Now tell me more about this dry shampoo thing!

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  3. I love Grease 2 more than 1 as well! :-)

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  4. Oh, Kenna! Dry shampoo is my new best friend. Tresemme and Suave both have dry shampoos. They have a powder in them so they're better for blonde hair. I've also tried Salon Grafix which is powder-less which means it's better for darker hair.

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  5. Love it! Yes, I want to know more about the dry shampoo as well!

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  6. Umm, I raise you a booger story with a laugh/choke/vomit story where I laughed which caused me to choke on some food and proceed to vomit it back up... in my plate... in front of the "cool crowd" I was sitting with... I just died again typing this.

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  7. Oh My Gosh. You win, Mommie Couture.

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  8. I love it! Way too funny!
    Thanks for stopping by my site...I'm your newest follower; this was too funny!

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  9. I don't know ... I sneezed snot all over the table during Sunday school in the seventh grade while Dixie Rushing was praying. I think she was the only one who saw the droplets, so I just put my Bible on top of it. Also, I think you almost died in Padre when I shouted up to our condo to bring me some R.C.

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  10. I don't know ... I sneezed snot all over the table during Sunday school in the seventh grade while Dixie Rushing was praying. I think she was the only one who saw the droplets, so I just put my Bible on top of it. Also, I think you almost died in Padre when I shouted up to our condo to bring me some R.C.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was wearing super cute sandals to Jeff's high school graduation party. It was the first time I met his extended family. His parents have wood floors in their house. My grand entrance into the party was when I slipped and fell down the stairs, right into the living room. It was the single most humiliating moment of my life.

    Now tell me more about this dry shampoo thing!

    ReplyDelete

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