Acceptance. The End.
Only kidding. I'll actually write a little bit more about the subject. When I went off to college I was an Oklahoma hometown girl going off to a university with 20,000+ students. I didn't go with any close friends and went potluck on a roommate. I never gave any of this a second thought because I figured that, just as I had made friends in high school, I would make friends in college. I didn't pledge a sorority only because I was so utterly exhausted from all of the "have tos" that I had done in high school in order to get accepted to college that I only wanted to do the bare minimum required - go to class and sleep.
This meant that making friends and networking was an uphill battle. I joined groups, put myself out there, talked to my classmates and slowly but surely made some acquaintances. But the close friendships I had experienced in high school just weren't there. For years I couldn't figure out why memories of college seemed a little sour and one day I figured it out. In college, I never felt accepted for who I really was.
I always felt like my sense of humor was too dry, my laugh too loud and my wardrobe not designer enough. I have little doubt that most of this can be attributed to the immaturity of college age kids but it still stung. For me college seemed like a time when you had to keep trying on different versions of yourself in order to fit in and be one of the group. This just wasn't something I was used to and wasn't something I wanted to do in order to be accepted.
The whole subject of acceptance comes to mind when I think of Twitter. Perhaps it's because I've chosen to follow and connect with the right people (so far) but I love Twitter for the same reason I hated college - I am accepted for who I am. There are always people with whom I disagree or who probably don't love every word I tweet but we are all civil with one another. The even bigger bonus? I have found people like myself and find that we have the same sense of humor, laugh loudly too and our clothes usually come from Target. I know that age and maturity probably has a lot to do with this but I find it so refreshing to find that we all seem to have figured out who we are. And we put ourselves out there. And find we are accepted.
This is so amazing to me because I had the exact opposite experience. I never felt like I "belonged" in our hometown. What you described about laughing too loud or having too dry a sense of humor pretty much sums up my entire time in the Big O. I couldn't wait to get out and not look back. I had an amazing college experience and felt accepted for the first time. I guess it happens in different places, but all we really want is to feel like being who we are is good enough. Thanks so much for sharing this, Christa!
ReplyDeleteKenna, I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband feels the same way you do yet I've talked to others who had my experience! It's so interesting to find out that we all had different experiences. Thank goodness we made it to adulthood! Ha!
ReplyDelete"i always felt like my sense of humor was too dry, my laugh too loud and my wardrobe not designer enough." um, straight from MY life! xo
ReplyDeleteHannah, isn't it funny to find out how we all are so similar? I hope you think your laugh is just fine now. :)
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