Comparing. We all do it as moms. We compare parenting styles, post-baby fashion, children's clothing, children's educations, birthdays, Christmas traditions, blogs. And on and on and on. Well, today I found myself comparing my delinquency as a parent according to the time at which I dropped off my son at his Montessori school. Morning drop-off runs from 8:05 a.m. to 8:25 a.m. You would think that as a SAHM I could get myself semi-dressed and out the door with my 4 year old and baby in time for drop-off. More often than not, though, we're rounding the corner on two wheels praying that the gate isn't closed - a sign that I'm a delinquent mother and we will have to take the walk of shame through the school all the way to his classroom.
This morning we were running late as usual and we played the game "Open or Shut" to see if the tell-tale gate was open, indicating I was a Good Mom or closed, indicating I was a Bad Mom. Once the car dropped back onto all 4 wheels we saw that the gate was indeed OPEN! Yay! I was a good Mommy! I dropped of my little Superman and as I was pulling away I looked in the rearview mirror and caught my friend Scarlett, dropping off her daughter. I yelled "YES!" and probably scared the baby half to death with my joy that someone else was even later than I was. I felt good. Vindicated. I wasn't the worst mommy that morning at drop-off!
Why do I do that? Is it because as women we're almost programmed to always compare? Does it really mean I'm a Bad Mom if I'm running late? Or buy his clothes from Wal Mart? Or don't send him to the best school in town but rather a really good school just with less prestige? I know in my heart that this isn't true but it sure is hard to quiet the little voice inside me that is always making me compare myself to other moms.
As I grow and learn in this role of Mommy I hope that little voice gets quieter and quieter and that I learn to be the best I can be and to be content with who I am as a mother. That's one of the reasons I love blogging and reading other blog posts. I realize we're all messy, imperfect women who love our children fiercely and are doing the best we can with what God has given us. I love to learn from other moms, laugh at their travails and find examples from their own lives to help me be the best I can be. And in doing so, I hope to quit comparing and start just enjoying this journey called life.